Imagine this: You’re a new mom, staring at your sweet baby’s face, and you feel like you should be overjoyed. Everyone says this is supposed to be the happiest time of your life. But deep down, you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, and maybe even wondering if you made a huge mistake. You plaster on a smile when your family asks how you’re doing, saying, “I’m fine,” or “Everything’s great,” because that’s what moms do, right? We push through because we’re told motherhood is supposed to be hard.

Here’s the truth: 1 in 5 moms struggles emotionally during the first year postpartum. That means if it’s not you, it’s probably someone you love—your best friend, your sister, or your new mom friend that you met at music class.

But it’s not talked about enough. Maternal mental health is a part of motherhood that often gets lost in the shuffle of diapers, feeding schedules, and sleep deprivation. While everyone focuses on the joy of bringing a baby into the world, no one talks enough about the emotional rollercoaster that’s happening beneath the surface. The truth is, postpartum depression and anxiety are more common than we think.

What is Maternal Mental Health?

It’s easy to brush off the emotional ups and downs of new motherhood as “just hormones.” I mean, we’ve all heard that phrase a million times, right? But here’s the thing: assuming it’s just hormones can cause postpartum depression and anxiety to be missed 50% of the time. And when it’s missed, moms suffer in silence.

I’m a psychiatric Nurse practitioner, who is trained to work with moms, and even I missed the signs within myself for postpartum anxiety. On the surface, anyone who saw me would have said I had it all together. He was in monogrammed onesies, we had all the right toys and baby gear. But inside, I was so nervous that NOT doing these things would lead to severe consequences for his health and well-being. It led me to following a rigid sleep/eating schedule and, ultimately, utter exhaustion. I didn’t realize until I was out of the fog that I was experiencing postpartum anxiety (PPA). I thought that everything I was feeling was normal for being a mom, and didn’t realize it was a sign of something much deeper.

PPA  is less talked about, but just as common. It is this constant, nagging fear that something terrible is going to happen. Every decision feels like life or death, and even the smallest things—like leaving the baby with someone else for a few minutes—feel impossible.

Postpartum dePRESSION (PPD) is often misperceived as “normal hormones”. But it isn’t. It  isn’t just the “baby blues” that go away in a couple of weeks. It’s a heavier sadness that can last months, making it nearly impossible to care for yourself, let alone your baby.

The Real Impact

I remember thinking, “It’s like I’m drowning, but everyone else thinks I’m swimming. I love my baby so much, but I just want time to pass. I can’t enjoy anything.”

That’s the emotional toll of PPD and PPA. It’s not just feeling “down”—it’s this overwhelming sense of hopelessness and fear that clouds everything. And it doesn’t stop there.

Physically, you’re beyond tired—even if you manage to get some sleep. Your body aches, your appetite is all over the place, and your mind feels foggy, like you’re constantly walking through quicksand. Your relationships with your partner, family, and friends start to fray because you don’t feel like yourself. And let’s not forget about the baby. When a mom is struggling, her baby can struggle too—with feeding, sleeping, and even developmental delays.

What Can You Do?

My story has a happy ending, but it took her a long time to realize for me to realize that what I was experiencing wasn’t just part of being a new mom. So, let me share a few things that can help if you—or someone you love—feel like that:

1. Know the signs

   Know the signs: This is the first step. So many moms suffer because they don’t realize their feelings of overwhelming sadness or anxiety are signs of PPD or PPA. If you’re even a little unsure, reach out for support.

2. prioritize sleep

   I know this sounds impossible, but getting rest is crucial. It’s okay to ask for help, whether that’s a partner, a family member, or even hiring a night nurse if it’s an option. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

3. Take time for yourself

   I get it. Leaving your baby for even a little while can feel hard. But stepping away, even if it’s just for a 10-minute walk, can do wonders for your mental health. You matter, too.

4. Reach out to other moms

   Sometimes, just knowing you’re not the only one can be a huge relief. Whether it’s a text to a friend, joining a support group, or even a quick DM to another mom on Instagram, that connection is everything.

5. get outside

   Fresh air and a change of scenery can make a world of difference. It doesn’t have to be fancy—just a stroll around the block or sitting in the park can help you reset.

6. ground yourself

   One of the simplest but most powerful tools is grounding yourself in the moment. Use your five senses—focus on what you can see, hear, touch, smell, and taste. It helps bring you back to the present when things feel overwhelming.

Where to Turn for Help

You don’t have to do this alone. There are so many resources that can offer support:

• Therapists and Counselors:

  There are specialists in postpartum mental health who can offer personalized help, whether that’s through individual or group therapy.

• Support Groups:

  Postpartum Support International (PSI) offers both in-person and online groups where you can connect with other moms going through the same thing.

• Hotlines:

  The PSI helpline (1-800-944-4773) is there for confidential support if you need someone to talk to.

• Community Resources:

  Many local areas have support services that will even come to your home to help.

Don’t Wait to Get Help

Maternal mental health is not something we can ignore. It’s real, and it matters. If you or someone you know is struggling, reach out—help is available, and recovery is absolutely possible.

If you’re not sure where to start, follow me at @mytribecare on Instagram or email me at kimberly@mytribecare.com. I’m here to point you in the right direction and get you the support you need. You don’t have to figure this out alone.

Let’s make sure every mom knows she’s not alone—and that there’s light at the end of this tunnel.

Be gentle with yourself, mama. You’re doing amazing. 

With love,

Kim