What Does Motherhood Mean to You? Reflecting on Identity Shifts

Dec 2

Motherhood is often described as a journey, but perhaps more accurately, it’s an evolution. It’s a shift in identity that many women wrestle with, embrace, and redefine continuously. I might even argue that the identity shift is the most difficult part of postpartum: harder than the disrupted sleep, stretch marks, and postpartum hair loss. It’s the part that makes you question who you are as a person now that your reality is all consumed by caring for a tiny, helpless being.

A New Lens on Identity

For many, this transformative identity shift begins during pregnancy. You start to see yourself as both an individual and a caregiver, your sense of autonomy intertwined with the needs of another life.

This duality can feel both exhilarating and daunting. You may find yourself questioning: Who am I now? What parts of my old self do I want to keep, and what am I ready to let go of? What parts of myself might I be forced to let go of? These questions are natural and important to consider as you navigate this uncharted territory. Change is often uncomfortable, so it is normal to experience some growing pains during this transition.

Thinking About Your Preconceptions about Motherhood

As you join the ranks of all the mothers who have gone before you, it may help to consider what ideas you have already about what it means to be a mother and what experiences instilled these ideas in you. Personally, when I was young, my mother was an unending source of love and care for others and always put her own needs last. When going out to eat at a restaurant, she can still always be expected to offer you food off her plate- before she has even begun eating it herself!

When I became a mother myself, it came as no surprise that I felt an unspoken pressure to set my own needs to the side. The beauty of motherhood, though, is that you can define it for yourself and pivot when something isn’t working for you. I now know that I function best when I prioritize my own needs along with the needs of my whole family, and that still makes me a great mom.

Finding Your Own Meaning

Ultimately, what motherhood means to you is deeply personal. For some, it’s about nurturing and guiding another human. For others, it’s about passing down traditions, creating new ones, or leaving a legacy. For me, it’s a blend of love, chaos, and learning.

Take time to reflect on what this role means to you. Journaling, talking with other mothers, or engaging in mindfulness exercises can offer clarity and affirm that your journey, with all its complexities, is valid and beautiful.