What Moms Really Want This Year
Let’s be honest: I love a day to myself. But if I had to choose between one more easeful day alone or everyday life feeling easier, I'd pick easier days. I know I’m not alone, and I’m considered the primary parent, the one doing the drop-offs, making the meals, and keeping the house tidy. But where the real heaviness lies is in what isn’t visible… it’s about the emotional and mental weight—the planning, remembering, and worrying—that often defaults to moms.
If you’re wondering, How can I truly get help?---> Send this post to your partner so they know precisely how to help you.
If you are a partner reading this and thinking, "What does she really need from me?" You’re already on the right track. What moms really want from their partners is to feel supported, seen, and not alone in this.
1. To See the Invisible Work We’re Doing
We may not say it out loud, but we always feel it. The mental load is invisible but constant. We’re keeping track of doctor’s appointments, playdates, what size shoes the kids need, and whether there’s enough milk in the fridge—all while managing everything else life throws at us, working full time, and trying to keep our sanity.
What moms want is for you to:
Notice the mental effort we’re putting in without us pointing it out.
Recognize that getting out the door doesn’t just require getting in the car. It involves so many more small tasks, which is why it may take us a while!
Acknowledge our efforts with simple validations or questions:
“I see how much you’re managing right now, and I appreciate everything you do.”
“You shouldn’t have to carry this alone—how can I make things easier?”
These small words of acknowledgment go a long way. They remind moms that we’re not invisible, and they help moms feel seen and appreciated.
2. To Not Wait for Us to Ask
One of the hardest things is feeling like we’re responsible for delegating tasks. If we have to ask for help, it can feel like we’re still managing everything, just with extra steps. When someone asks, “How can you help?” while it has the best intentions, it can just add one more thing to mom's plate: to have to come up with something to do. What moms want is for you to notice what needs to be done—and then do it.
What this looks like:
See that the laundry is piling up and start a load.
Notice the kids’ lunchboxes need to be packed and handle it.
Realize the diaper bag is running low and restock it.
When you step in without being asked, it lightens the mental load and makes us feel like we’re truly a team. That teamwork then has a positive feedback loop in giving into the relationship.
3. to Take Ownership of Certain Responsibilities
It’s not just about splitting chores 50/50; it’s about owning specific tasks so we don’t have to think about them. If we’re still the ones keeping track of what needs to happen, it’s not really shared responsibility.
What moms want:
For you to take over certain areas completely, like paying bills, managing the kids’ extracurricular activities, or meal planning for the week.
To know that once it’s on your plate, it’s truly off ours.
4. To Show Empathy and Validate Our Feelings
Sometimes, we just need to be heard. The overwhelm, exhaustion, and emotional rollercoaster of motherhood can be a lot. We don’t need someone jumping in to “fix” everything or minimize how we feel.
What this looks like:
Listening without offering solutions.
Saying things like:
“It’s okay to feel overwhelmed—this is a lot to manage.”
“You’re doing an amazing job, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.”
5. To Prioritize Time for Us (And for Yourself)
Parenthood often feels like an endless cycle of taking care of everyone else. We want you to help us create space to take care of ourselves, too.
What moms want:
Time to decompress without guilt—an hour to read a book, nap, or go out with friends.
For you to prioritize your mental health, too. When you take care of yourself, it makes us feel like we’re not the only ones managing the emotional well-being of the family.
This isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. It’s about building a partnership where we both feel supported and cared for.
6. to Celebrate Small Wins Together
Motherhood is hard, but it’s also full of small, beautiful moments. We want you to celebrate those wins with us—to be in the trenches together and in the joy.
What this looks like:
Saying, “Hey, we’re doing a great job raising these kids.”
Laughing over the chaos instead of stressing about it.
Finding time to connect as a couple, even when life feels overwhelming.
Those little moments of connection and shared pride remind us we’re not doing this alone.
The TakeAway
What moms want isn’t complicated or expensive. We want to feel seen, supported, and be part of a true team. It’s not about grand gestures or perfection. It’s about the little, consistent actions that show you’re in this with us—every step of the way.
When you share the load, take the initiative, and show empathy, you’re not just helping but strengthening your partnership and building a foundation where both of us—and our kids—can thrive.
And honestly? That kind of support means everything.
